So what do you do with a selfish lover? Read this story below and see if you could offer some helpful advice...
I started dating this F.C. (guy) in Jan. He is sweet, romantic, respectful, and thoughtful so I was in heaven. We talked and text all day. When we finally decided to sleep together it was bananas. I have never been so fulfilled sexually. Everything was picture perfect for a while. He cooks, he cleans, and brings lunch by the job. So here’s where the problem began; I love oral sex. Giving it more than receiving it. In the beginning he was so shocked. I can do him all day and don’t expect it in return as long as I get mine eventually. We could just be watching T.V and I will happily start to please him, no questions asked. The sex was always good in return so I didn’t trip. Now, for no apparent reason this man could care less about my satisfaction. He gets off and will pass out snoring before I can even complain. It doesn’t matter oral or penetration, once he’s done that’s it. I’ve tried to talk to him about it and he just laughs it off. He says I’m exaggerating and it isn’t that bad and I need to hurry up (WTF). After I have to nag him for weeks, he might give me a good one but the next day I’m back to the drawing board with the begging part. It is ruining what began as a great relationship. It got so frustrating to the point that I held back from giving him oral because why please him if he won’t please me. He finally gave in after about 2 weeks. I thought I would die. He was o.k for a while but I could tell it was only so the Becky wouldn’t stop. That offends me so I don’t even enjoy pleasing him as much anymore because now I’m starting to feel he’s a selfish jerk. I broke up with him because this was stupid and not worth the stress but not seeing him or talking to him was killing me. He’s my new BFF/Great Boyfriend. Or at least HE WAS. We were broke up for about 3 weeks when he finally came to me and said he needs me and that he LOVES me and please take him back. I was shocked. I had no idea he felt that way, I thought it was me. I realized I kinda love him toooooo because it hurt so much when we were apart and I don’t even want anyone else. We got back together, it was good again for a few weeks and now he’s doing it again. Just lays back and waits to be pleased like he’s the King and I’m his humble servant, instead of his woman. It’s not that he can’t satisfy me, he just refuses to do it until he feels like it which is like once every couple months. I won’t to cheat but I’m not like that. I want to leave again but I think I love him. Everything else is great. Is sex worth breaking up? What the hell is wrong? Is he using me? Why did he use the L word to get me back? Is this my fault for doing it (oral) so freely? Please help. I have no clue what to do.
38 comments:
Omg, this sounds like me. I too would give oral all the time to my man(when he would'nt even ask)I think they get to comfortable with it. I think we should have slowed down with it, cause once you start doing it all the time, a man expects it. IDK, mabye im wrong..can I get a man's opinion on this.
There has to be more to your relationship than sex? When you give your all in the beginning,with nothing coming back you lose. He is not stupid he hit a home run off the bat when you started with oral everyday anytime action. No one should have to beg to be pleased. He came back because there is no one willing to put up with him getting and not giving. Dismiss his azz and move on, There will be someone else that is willing to return your sexual pleasures.
I am sorry for ur situation but it does sound to me that u began the relationship on a high not for him and now he expects it from u. It's like when u meet a man and you keep ur appearance up and then all of a sudden it start to suddenly change. He got u one way and now u r trying to change it a little. U guys r both wrong ur wrong for trying to change it up and he is wrong for saying he love u because if he did he would at east meet u halfway. It sounds to me u r in a pickle and u guys need to work it out or move on and if u do move o with out each other don't make the same mistake again.
I agree that he just expects it from you because he got way to comfortable. You need to give his ass an ultimatum.Like look if you really loved me,you would listen to me.He just laughing it off cause he not taking you seriously but communication is key.Tell him if he keep messing up you're out of there.There is more to a relationship than sex but sex was the main ingredient that made ya'll mesh so well.Maybe you should start giving head when you get yours first.Stop spoiling him:)
Honey Child...I know this is going to sound horrible but...Stop doing him, don't cheat BUT....go to the toy store get you a toy and when he comes home or you to are there watching tv, go to your room and get your freak on trust he is going to want some and might even watch... tell him if you don't want to do it then I can do it myself but the trick is....DON'T DO HIM EVEN WHEN YOUR DONE... tell him you can show him better then you can tell him... if you don't want to give it to me like I know you can then guess what?....I got this!!!! I bet it will work!!!! make sure you maon and groan and scream and all of the above....but cut him off until he gets it together your still getting yours, not cheating PLUS!!! teaching him a lesson.
TO ME IT SOUNDS LIKE HE MAY BE TAKING U FOR GRANTED BECAUSE U GAVE UP THE ORAL PART SO FREELY AND HE THINKS THAT U SHOULD JUST GIVE IT TO HIM. I WOULD REALLY JUST SIT HIM DOWN AND TELL HIM AND IF HE REALLY AINT TAKIN IT SERIOUS I WOULD LEAVE, SEX AINT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF A RELATIONSHIP BUT IT IS KEY AND IF U AINT GETTING PLEASED THEN STEP
I was in a thing like this and I'm worried that you ain't cheating but he might be..you gave in right away and made him feel like a king and maybe he figure if its so easy he could get it elsewhere just as easy...Leave him and find a man who will treat you right everytime..and hold off until your sure.
I don't know if leaving him is necessary just becuz he doesn't reciprocate but I'll tell you what i do to my man when he annoys me and expects it I will give him oral only for a min and then withdraw and stop which will prompt him to ask what is wrong and that's when I tell him what's on my mind...you got what you wanted from him before by witholding do it again only longer this time or start and get him excited and stop...he will get the message.
all this dick sucking is for the birds. women think you have to suck dick to keep a man. A MAN once told me never bring home dick sucking to your man. he will expect it all the time and when you do not do it there will be some shit.this man was not a boyfriend he was just a friend. we women need to stop reading books talking about how to please your man. no honey, he gotta please you too. this lady sounds young. young girls are vulnerable to fall for the "please your man" okey doke. we old girls know it works both ways and we also know we are not obligated to suck anything to keep a man. it takes more than that to keep a relatonship strong. see, we old girls got bills to pay, a mortagae to pay, rent, kids, job and so on and so forth. so we know sex won't pay for none of that. she fucked up when started inviting her mouth to his dick without his permission. now he has gotten used to it and expects it everytime. this relationship is over. sorry. she has created a monster. i remember years ago a friend of mine broke up with her ex and they had kids, she asked him what did he miss the most about not being with her. the first thing that rolled off his tongue was "you sucking my dick" my friend was so hurt. after all the things she did for him he could only think about the sex part. her man is taking her for granted and he is taking advantage of her. because now he feels she'll do anything for me. she loves me so much. now he feels he does not have to try too hard to make her happy.. stop sucking dick. save that for the man who deserves it. she hasn't even been with this guy that long.. she should have waited and then she would have known what kind of guy he was..
Coming from a man...GIRL GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER!! LOL!! Nah I'm bullshittin...but seriously tho, I agree with the women here because I've been on the receiving end of something similar to this. You can't just start sucking a man off like that cuz he's gonna expect it all the time. We tend to get lazy sometimes when it's THAT easy. Try this...STOP SUCKING HIM OFF!!!..He'll get the picture after a while. And if he doesn't, he's prolly cheating on you so move on...case closed!
Man, this is a tryp...
Do what is obvious --> Fight the selfishness with selfishness. I'm not there actually living your life or witnessing it. He told you he loved you because it's hard to be with someone then one day not be ... everyone wants to be comfortable ... It's hard to score a good one these days! You spoiled him with that head though ... can't be confused about that. Head is like a reward in my book - BE A GOOD BOY, GET A LITTLE HEAD. You gotta get that control back honey! Dress up one night and roleplay as a powerful, sexy woman figure you can pull off. DEMAND all you want that nite ... Make sure you add he has to stay awake after to get this type of treatment again ... If you nail the role he'll make sure he follows the rules.
Leave him before you invest anymore in him. You spoiled him in the beginning and no matter how much you hold out or break up and get back together, in the end if you guys get married he's gonna revert back to his old ways and your gonna be miserable as hell. Your already thinking about cheating but why? Your not married just walk away. Sex is obviously important to you so find someone who is willing to reciprocate. I dont play that laughing it off bullshit cause i'm gonna get the last laugh.
This is no reason to break up yea it's an issue but considering the things that kill relationships you wanna throw away love over sex? IDK about that it can be easily fixed. I mean being a male I've been with my girl for along time and we went threw the exact same issue. I mean exzactly the same thing and honestly you do love her. And it's like man this girl is amazing she gimmie everything I want but your so deep into the relationship by this time u just wanna get your head and keep it moving I mean guys don't wanna fuck everyday espically if you got a job that takes putting in some work. You kinda wanna lay back and get that head and go to bed. But relationships are all about compromise MA and if he not hearing what you saying then thats partly your fault because you ain't making yourself clear. My girl actully set up a schdule type thing we're if she pleased me one time then next time it was my turn and that's how we got it all on track.
WOW...there must be a different set of commentors, each week, because I can't imagine this is the same set of people who commented a couple weeks ago to the married woman. That woman was married, and had a lack luster sexual partner, and everyone and their momma, was telling her to cheat on him or get a divorce. This week, we have a woman who isn't married, and has a lazy lack luster sexual partner, and only one person mentioned to her leaving him, and no one mentioned her cheating on him. They are not married and committed, he did not put a ring on it, run girl!...WOW
When I first started reading this post, I got excited, that a black woman, was talking about enjoying pleasing her man orally...I know the stigma about black woman being so against oral sex is just a myth...that is until I read the part about the poster calling herself a "Becky," is the poster white? Just curious.
Now Anonymous @ 2:22, she sounds like a bitter black woman, dang what exactly do you have against oral sex, you sound like it's the root to evil. No, you are right, no one is obligated to suck dick, to keep a man...however no man is obligated to stay with someone, who isn't sucking his dick...how about that?
Just like the lady in the post isn't obligated to stay with someone, who is selfish in bed, and eating her coochie, like it needs to be ate.
All this dick sucking is not for the birds, some of us need it. I could not be with someone, who wouldn't suck the dick. Sorry I personally need head, great head. I love it, therfore I givith. Now I am on a little head ban, but in a relationship, I think it is very much needed on the menu.
I have to say this...when people first start to date, they put on pretense, to entice their potential mate. They put their best foot forward. In my mind they act like they are on a job interview. They exhibit their best features and abilities. Even when they get the job, they are on their best behavior, during that probation period or 30 to 90 days. However some once they are in there, the real them comes out. The late employee, the call out all the time, the taking too long of lunch breaks, the inappropriate behavior employee...things that never show their face until down the road.
This whole post reminds me of Chris Rock. He once mentioned that when you date you get that person's representative. The person they want you to meet. You don't get the real them until down the road.
Another thing that reminds me of what he once said, is that Woman can never go back in life, lifestyle wise, as in cars, homes, clothing, and types of men with these things and so on. However Men can never go back in life, sex wise. Once they have something sexual, then it's on the menu all the time. If you have sex with stilettos, then sex with stilettos is always on the menu...if you suck the cum out their dick once, guess what you sucking cum out of their dick, is on the menu.
Well, guess what. You have put him sitting back and just you pleasing him, now he thinks it is now on the menu. This guy has gotten a custom to sex, being all about his pleasure, and doesn't know how to go back. It's wrong but how it is now. You need to play hard ball to break this habit.
For SOME people once someone does something for them, whether sexual, monetary, emotional, whatever it is, and they do it often; instead of feeling gratitude or appreciation, they instead start to feel it's obligated. They feel entitled to these things from then on. As if you have to continue to do it, even if it started off as something out the kindness of your heart or out of love.
I personally think you should move on, and learn from your mistakes in this relationship. I'm going to say this, just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean he loves you. I'm a man, and I know men say a lot of things they don't mean, and they say things to get what they want. You know how many girls have lost their virginity, to a guy, because he said he loved them. Some may have loved the, some was just saying it to get the booty.
Love in your actions. How does his actions say he loves you? Does he still do all that cooking and cleaning now? Does he still bring lunch to your job? Does he still act romantic? Does he still want to make sure you, he mate, his lover, his woman, is sexually pleases in the bedroom?...Oh that's right, forgot what the post was about for a minute.
When you love someone, or when you make love to someone...aren't you suppose to want them to be satisfied as much or even more than you being satisfied bed?
HUN U SAID U 'THINK' U LOVE HIM??????**DEAD** LEAVE...SIMPLE!!! I KNOW SOMETIMES MY ADVICE SEEMS A LIL'......REPEATATIVE BUT HUN IT'S OBVIOUS HE KNOWS WHAT 2 SAY AND HOW 2 PUSH UR BUTTONS!!!
LISTEN MY CURRENT EX STOPP'D THE SEX TOTALLY AND KICK'D HIS SHIT OUT!!!! I WAS SOOOOOO PISS'D!! HONESTLY UR A BIGGER WOMAN THAN I AM CUZ SELIFISH SEX IS JUST AS BAD AS NO SEX!!!
MOVE ON SWEETIE...U TIRED.....U FAIL'D......U LEAVE!!!!!
SWEET WORDS ARE MOST SOUR WHEN SWEET ACTIONS DON'T FOLLOW!!!!
I was in the same boat! This guy i was dating..the first couple times we slept together it was so off the meter. Then he just got lazy. Everything was about pleasing him. I left his ass alone. I want someone to please me just as much as I want to please him. Like affection, comforting me, and sex. You will never be happy trust me. I liked him he was mad cool, told me he love me but the sex part turned me off. I only like to stay committed sexually to one person but i actually thought about getting with other people.
I like the toy idea! I might have to try that in the future when I start dating again.
Thank you, all of you.
I'm shocked b/c I really didn't think they would post my letter even though I know I needed to hear this.
My friends are biased b/c they all love him and think he's a great guy, hell I even do(with this exception).
This is our only issue thus far. Yes. he does do all of those other things I appreciate in a man. No' I'm not that young and yes I am Black. I'm 30 but my experience is limited. I was with my 1st love for a long time and sexually we tried it all so I'm very comfortable in that area.
Hell, I even work hard to be the best sexually b/c my experience taught me that a great partner would appreciate & reciprocate. And he did at first. Our sex would leave me dizzy and breathless.
How can he cut me off like that?
He set an expectation toooo.
I still live up to my end b/c that is the real me, I guess I met his representative.
I do want to fix this. Not to mention how hard it is to find a guy with all the other qualities he posess. I even like his mom.
I just so confused and was trying to figure out, am I shallow for trippin so hard on this one flaw. Yet I have to admit I am becoming bitter and angry b/c I'm not SATISFIED.
I have purchased toys at the advice of my girl. They don't make me feel like he do(when he's doing it right)
I have a hard job too. I've been working long and hard just like him. So just like he likes to come home, (he does have dinner waiting b/c he gets off 1st) and relax and get topped off for the evening, dammit so do I. I'm not a sex addict. I just want to be pleased at least once a week and if he gets it all the time from me I can't understand the prob.
I hope he isn't cheating. That would really suck.
I really am taking into consideration all the things I've learned through these comments. It's Halloween so I'm gonna play the best Vixen I know how to be and if this doesn't work.
I may have to move on. No matter how hard it is.
I thought a guy could appreciate a hardworking, attractive woman, who has her own and loves to please.
Maybe I'm wrong......SMDH
@LYRICS
Your words are like poison to my ears, only because I think you hit the nail on the head for me right now.
I think I would feel like a failure. Maybe that's why I'm taking this so hard b/c I really am trying.
We talked a lot in the beginning about what we wanted and I thought we were perfect to make each other happy. My partner experience is limited b/c I'm very choosy.
I like to be open sexually so that's why I try so hard to find the right mate for me. I thought we did establish all this in the beginning before the SEX began. So truthfully he's the one flipping the script.
I don't want to have to play childish games and withhold sex. Something that I also crave. The last time hurt me more than it hurt him. I started cursing, which I don't do. I was moody & cranky. PMS has nothing on this.
Also, b/c with my Ex, I was satisfied. He's deceased now, so I had to move on from there. However, I know how it feels. With F.C in the beginning, I was satisfied.
It's like trying to feed me sandwiches when I'm used to 5star dinners. They might get you by but you ain't satisfied or happy.
We do work together on everything else. He does make me smile and he has my back. He just drops the ball when it comes to my "O". That's why this is so difficult. That's why i feel somehow this must be my fault.
Then I wonder, what probs will the next man have? They might be 10 times worse than this.
I was just hoping a guy could give me some insight as to how to fix the problem.
I don't want to leave and I don't want to stay.
Why is life so cruel...........
BTW- I will take the stop & start advice.
Tomorrow after the party, he'll be expected it as usual,
I'll start & once he starts to get into real good, you know the scooting and squirming, gasping and squeezin his eyes shut and I'm just gonna stop.
Just STOP and hopefully I'll have his undivided attention as you suggested.
I hope your not sending me off....lol
I'll let you guys know what happened.
Thanks for sharing. I really appreciate it.
Mz. Pleaser; from one woman who WAS in a similar situation to another, I would try the aforementioned 'trick' on him; but I can tell you how its going to end: He is going to listen and behave for a FEW weeks and then go back to his original behavior.
Humans are creatures of habit, and we RARELY deviate from then unless a signigicant life experience occurs (i.e. death, breakup, new career, etc.). So what am I saying?
YOU must significantly change YOUR lifestyle. LEAVE HIM ALONE, he sounds like he has consistently shown you the real him for a while now, INCONSISTENT. My dear, you are worth far more than this. Your pleasure should be first YOUR priority in the bedroom, and secondly it should be HIS.
Ladies, lets stop giving our all up front, and start making the OTHER do so, until they have earned that effort from us.
With love, Andi K.
P.S. I would also examine within myself, why do I feel the need to be a 'pleaser'. Your decision in a screen name leads me to wonder in what OTHER areas of life do you engage in people-pleasing? Don't be afraid to lose someone like this. Selfish people are totally incapable of selflessness.
TALES FROM A GROUPIE MY AZZ, THIS SITE IS OFFICIALLY -DEAR ABBEY AND NEM-
i'm totally hopin' this works out 4 u cuz u juss add'd some other shit in2 the pot.......'U EVEN LIKE HIS MOM'!!!!! yea hun there's some aspects 2 ur relationship that DEFINTELY has it's PROS & CONS.......and likin' a man's mom (and i hope she feels the sam about u!)is MORE THAN A PRO....nevermind it REALLY makes a relationship even more WONDERFUL!!!
i REALLY don't believe he's cheatin'......HE'S COMFORTABLE.....which is good & BAD!!!! some men don't show their 'comfortable' side 4 months....shoot yrs and the fact that he's showin' his 'comfort' in the sex department is 'BAD'!!!! u ever been wid a man 4 a minute and u've NEVER heard homie fart or burp & u think 2 urself 'WTF IS WRONG WID DIS DUDE!!!??' cuz I HAVE.....and when he did i was like 'AWWWWWWW HE'S 'COMFORTABLE' W/ ME NOW!!!" not 2 mention he's meeting ur requirements e'rywhere else & UR IN GOOD WID MOMS!!!! MIND BOGGLIN'!!!?????
WELL HUN.....i think u've gotten gra8 words of advice from A LOT of different ppl from all walks of life so now....u DO U (wid a lil' dis & dat mix'd in),u figure out if all ur GREAT QUALITIES & ur TIME are worth being wast'd on some1 who clearly feels that his SATISFACTION is primary & ur's is SECONDARY???!!!
GOOD LUCK.......LOOKIN' 4WARD 2 FINDIN' OUT HOW E'RYTHIN' GOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@11:04PM.......@ LEAST THESE 'THERAPY SESSIONS' AIN'T SOME DELUSIONAL FAN FANTASIZIN' BOUT GETTIN' IT IN WID DRAKE!!! LMFBAO
Omg This Shit is crazy lmaooo
my man couldnt bagg me to do that
lets switch i'll have ur nd you'll
have my man lmaoo this would be good
He used the L word to do exactley what you said, to get you back, and yes sex is very important in a relationship, without it people will look else where, and when it's good you start to miss it when it's gone. It's not your fault you sucked him off in the beginning and sounds like throughout the relationship anytime you or he felt like it, it's his fault for slacking off so if he can't keep up with you, you should let him know what your relationship consist of, sounds like the sex or just your oral sex is what he craves, so keep his ass your homely lover friend, you cannot call a him your man if he is unwilling to please you all the time. And believe me it is not love it's lust, two things that are always mistaken for the other. And trust me I am not judging I have been in similar situations and this is how I handled it. Good luck
Now don't get me wrong you can have a certain type of love for someone and have all the good times that you will have with him but really if it was true love, he would do everything in his power to keep you satified in that department. People are always saying sex is not that important, SHIIIIIT, yes it is. Relationships are held together like glue with,LOVE,TRUST, RESPECT,COMMUNICATION, AND DAMN GOOD SEX, and and if anyone of those important factors are missing, you have a weak foundation and at some point your relationship is going to fall through the cracks. And back and forth shit that he is doing, acts right for a minute then back to the same old shit is tired, but only when you get really tired of it is when you will stop accepting it, I finally ended a relationship that was like a see-saw, for over 2 yrs, so really think about YOU, and ask your self, "Do I want to be living like this with him in the near future", "Should I just not trip because he is perfect in other departments", you sound like you are not happy and believe me you don't want to stay in a relationship longer and then wish you would have left long time before. Good luck and let us know what happend.
@2:39 ain't nothing bitter about me baby. i keep a man and don't have to suck dick to accomplish this. i don't need to use sex to keep a man. i am a good girl. i am that girl who took care of her kids, put them first. i am that girl who doesn't drink, smoke, run the street or do drugs. also i have never cheated on my man. i am not that girl my man gotta look for in the club every night. dick sucking is for the birds especially when your doing it to keep a man. that should be something you save for the MAN who deserves it. like i said we OLD girls know this. you have to earn that with us. if we wanna suck a dick we don't usually go around sucking every man we meet. thats what yong girls do because they have been conditioned by people like you, the media, and their friends that dick sucking is the key to keeping a healthy relationship. you need more than sex to keep things going. as you read from her sad story dick sucking just got her used and taken for granted. also i did say the relationship was over. she should walk away. she is now being used. ladies do me a favor save the oral for the man who deserves it. not some random sex partner. save it for the man who got your back, who builds you up, who is there when you need him. if your gonna do it make sure you get pleased also.
Hello All,
Thanks again for all your advice as I have learned a lot in a short period of time.
I guess when you ask the advice of total strangers, you have to accept that some of them may be delusional and add in things that aren't even there.
For the millionth time. I never once stated that I suck his dick to KEEP HIM. I also never stated that I suck off every man that I meet. I said we were friends FIRST. That dated for months FIRST. That got to know each others families FIRST. and after a few months of dating, we decided to have sex.
Where all this random crap and I'm doing this to keep a man comes into play confuses me.
I have had a limited amount of partners b/c I'm very choosy. I refuse to believe that I'm the only black woman that enjoys sucking dick. I also won't make any excuses for liking to please my man or doing something that I feel we both enjoy. This was just the first time I've went from begging a guy to stop focusing on sex so much to begging a guy to have sex more.
I wasn't sure there was a guy who wouldn't appreciate a woman that loves to give him oral. Thus my decision to discuss this with a large group to see if anyone had any GOOD advice on how to fix this problem and get him more involved.
So on that note, I'm done.
For those of you wondering, I decided not to go through with "The Trick". I'm just not that into games. After most of this advice, I realize that maybe were just not compatable and that you can go about dating the correct way and that doesn't guarantee that it will work out in the end. With my 1st love it brought us closer. With him, obviously it's brought out his worst. His motive with the "L" word was obviously selfish and that's a bigger issue.
I broke it off and I have discovered what is truly important to ME, in a partner. And that even though he has some great qualities, his bad ones are too big to get over. (for me that is)
So thanks. I know there is a great guy out there like my 1st love, who is very affectionate and loves to be pleased and is happy and willing to return the favor. I'm sure I'll be o.k until I find him.
Thanks for helping me too see that as I was blinded by my emotions for a minute...lol.
I also checked out that Chris Rock skit and realized I was holding on to time invested (which now is more like time wasted)....lmao
I'll cut my losses here.
Ps- Thanks Andi.K . I think your right
Sorry for the interruption. Back to your Groupietales....
@ anon 2:39
I don't know what your trying to prove and to who but who asked if you were a good girl?????
When did I say I wasnt???????
Sucking MY MAN's dick makes me a bad girl????
WTF. This was about a particular topic. If you have kids they should be first and the club shouldn't be your 1st priority....... what does this have to do with the dilemma at hand?????
You seem to be trying to convince yourself of something.
I'm very attractive (used to model for years), I have no kids, I have a upscale home & vehicle and a very lucrative career so your saying all that to say what. I never said I had a problem getting or keeping a man.
I honestly believe this is the first time he met a attractive black woman whom not only enjoyed giving head but was good at it and it brought out the kid in him, along with selfish behavior, and a spoiled attitude.
Now if you want to make me guilty of spoiling my man, I'll accept fault there.
But to imply by any means that I can't get or keep a man without sucking dick is foolish. I can pull most men off my looks alone. And keeping them have never been an issue for me, getting rid of them has....lol
Thus the reason I was seeking advice. Just never had a problem like this before. SMH
That last comment was at 11:22pm 11/1 anonymous
sorry 2:39 but she does sound bitter & confused about something.
Sounds like she single trying to help me...lmao
No disrespect, I am just a little confused as to why the woman who posted the comment, 11:22pm on 11/1, is even on this website. I have to agree with Mz. Pleaser, you sound upset. If you don't suck dick then that's fine, some women choose to do so. There is no need to crticize her for pleasing her partner, she is a GROWN ASS woman just like you so there is no need to hint that she may be a bad girl. I had no idea sucking dick would make someone bad...guess I learned something new today. I just find it hiliarious that this person keeps putting out there that she is indeed OLD and knows how to do it. Anyway, Mz. Pleaser I understand your concern. I have been in a similar situation as well and sometimes you have to find out for yourself. I think you made the right decision only because it was YOUR decision. I think the advice given, besides the negativity, was correct you just had to make the decision for yourself. Good Luck Girl :)
Hi Pleaser,
You're welcome sweetie! I wish you all the best. You deserve it. :-)
<3
u got advice, but u followed ur heart.....U ARE A LADY!!!!!!
WE WERE JUST HERE 2 GIVE U THAT EXTRA.......PUSH FOR U 2 MAKE WHAT U ALREADY KNEW WAS INEVITABLE CLEAR!!!!
@Ms Pleaser...
You sound like you are in a good frame of mind to make a move be it stay or leave...I'm not into playing games either but I am into being heard and if withholding oral sex from my man gets his attention then I have accomplished what I set out to do...and NO HUN you are not the only black woman who enjoys giving good head...I am one of them as well...take care Babe and again thanks for sharing!
Thank you guys so much for the last few comments....lol.
Exactly my point, I just haven't had many partners sexually and was hoping a lady (and I emphasize LADY) with more experience might be able to help me out. I don't sleep around and was trying to find a way to stay with this brotha since we've already been there and done that, and so far this was the only problem.
Sometimes you don't want to discuss something this intimate with ya girls b/c they might judge too harshly or if you guys stay together, now they know all ya'll business. It's messy.
This chick (11:22) starts going in, talkin about I'm sucking too many dicks and I can't keep a man. I'm sucking dick to keep my man.....I'm like whoa.......
When the hell did that become my problem.....lmao.
I don't recall that foolery.
I confess I'm 30. I don't know everything.
She does sound old cause she confused ass hell.
I never in a million years would have guessed that sucking dick WELL & OFTEN would cause a problem in a relationship.....go figure.SMH
Hearing all these different perspectives, helped me see what was REALLY wrong.
I was afraid that I was being foolish to want to break up over sex alone.
Especially when there are so many men with way bigger issues. Oh well.
Well, we live and we learn.
I'm sure one day me & somebody will be really happy....lol.
I'm maybe a little late with this...but here is my 2 cents:
It's not the ammount of sucking d**k that is the problem, he is just really selfish and unthoughtful. I can't speak for your relationship, but when I please my boyfriend he sure pleases me back.
I'm a firm beliver in "You do me and I'll do you right back" :)
I hope you find somebody who shows respect and appreciation for the effort you put in the relationship.
I'm sure this dude will relize what he missed when the next girl ain't puttin his penis even close to her face.
(Side note so that nobody gets upset: If you suck d**k that's fine, if you don't that's fine as well. Do what feel right for you!)
Girl, all the best to you. Stay blessed.
my current boo is the same way. I just don't give him head any more. Plain and simple. You s hould enjoy and want to give me head just like i enjoy and want to give you head.
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