Therapy Thursday: What do I do?

This is a cool story cause it kinda combines the "groupie" aspect and Therapy Thursday aspect too. Check it out...

For New Year's this year I went to New Orleans with my aunt and some cousins. The Florida Gators and the Cincinnati Bearcats were playing in the Sugar Bowl around the same time we went (but we didn't know this). Our hotel was in the French quarter, walking distance from Bourbon Street. When we got there, it was around 10 o'clock. Bourbon Street was pretty dead, 10 is considered early for those people. So we decided to go eat and head back to the hotel. Bourbon street consists of a LOT of drunk, white people. We're all black so we stuck out like a sore thumb, lol. With that being said, this tall, built, light-skinned, beautiful man (*Dave) approaches us. He and my aunt got to talking and she basically told him "If you wanna mess with me, you gotta bring some boys for my nieces." "Cool," he said. We keep walking and suddenly there's a GROUP of beautiful men approaching us. *Dave introduced us to them one by one and I knew immediately which one I wanted (*Jordan). Long story short, we found out they played for Cincinnati. We hung out with them for the rest of the days we were there. We all had a really good time. No sex, no nothing. Just talking. I liked *Jordan. When we left, it was casual. We hugged and said our goodbyes. I thought it would be one of those experiences I looked back on and thought "Wow, meeting him was dumb luck. New Orleans was fun." I was so wrong.

He and I kept in touch because we had exchanged numbers. When we started talking, we would text each other every couple of days or weeks, no phone calls. In a matter of months, that evolved into texting everyday and late night phone calls. (I'm a firm believer in astrology so I base almost every experience, relationship, friendship on horoscopes. He is an Aquarius. I'm a Leo.) Aquariuses are really good at hiding their feelings and avoid talking about them. Out of all the signs, they're the most out of touch with their emotions; they don't handle them well. So I was surprised when we started talking about his feelings about me. I've never known any man to be 100% & completely honest with their feelings about me. So when he told me how he felt, I fell even harder. I would never have expected that he felt as deeply about me as he does, let alone that he would tell me. It's not love but it's damn close. Because I work and he has football, we have extremely conflicting schedules. (We have YET to see each other again.) I'ts like we have a relationship without the title. I treat him like my boyfriend and vice versa. But this new guy has come into my life and I start school in the Fall. We're going to the same school so he's much more convenient. I like him, I really do. He's easy to talk to. But I don't want things to change between *Jordan and I. And it's not fair to any of us. I can't juggle both of them but I don't wanna forget either one of them either. What do I do?

Thoughts?

Have Fun

PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ON THE BELOW PICTURE...I HAD TO GET MY POINT ACROSS AND IT WAS THIS OR A GROUP OF ASIANS JUMPING IN THE AIR.




I'm not a huge fan of random casual sex and most women aren't but when your not in a relationship, you gotta get it how you can and if a celeb is getting it how you can I'm sure those moral standards will disappear for the time being.
If you know you've had fantasies about Mr. Trey Songz, for example, and that once in a lifetime moment comes around; grab some condoms and run!
Have fun, just be happy you didn't leave the concert to go to the club to get hit on by a fool named Boo who has gold teeth, busted braids, and wears jerseys with a huge white tee underneath like its 2005.
Pull out some of you best tricks and relieve some stress. It'd make however much you paid to go to the concert or to get into the club worth it, well really only if the sex is good.

aYo

Therapy Thursday: "He's still into me, but I've moved on"

Please don't laugh at the pic, I couldn't find a better one, lol. Anyhow, Happy Thursday, fyi this is a long one....

Five years ago I started a new job. One of my co-workers tried to get at me for a year but I wasn't interested and I felt it would be more trouble than it was worth. It was hard for me to find people to date. I had relocated to the area and I felt like the guys in this area just didn't understand me. I was bored with life and my coworker was still trying so I said let's hang out and see what happens. We started hanging and he was a fun person to hang around with. I maintained that I wasn't interested in a relationship but we kept kicking it and we ended up having sex. Still I had no feelings for him like that. One thing I can't stand is for someone to lie to me. I would rather a dude say he is interested in me but dates other chicks instead of saying he decided to cut everyone to focus on me. Of course he did this and it was a lie. As time went on I started to see that he had some issues. For one he had an addictive personality (gambling, alcohol) and he would lie about any and everything. Usually lies to make himself look good in the eyes of other people. Yes, he had low self-esteem as well. I got tired of there being an issue every other week. I think we were both getting tired of each other. He felt like he couldn't talk to me because in his mind I was better than he was. I made more money and there was nothing he could introduce to me. That made him feel even worse about himself. He also didn't like the fact that I was steadily being assigned more projects at work and he wasn't getting anything (he didn't have the qualifications). Finally, it came to a point where I said okay I have to end this but I was waiting for the right time. I knew that I would be traveling for a few months so I wanted to wait until then because I found out how truly immature he was and didn't want him to go around the job acting like a fool. So when the time came I called him and told him I needed to talk to him. He went off on me. What do you need to talk about? If you want to see me to tell me some bulls**t then you can stay your @ss where you are. Well that sealed the deal for me. I ended it and went on my travels. He sent me several text messages cursing me out. After awhile things settled down and because we moved in the same circles (co-workers) he felt that he could handle us being friends. WRONG! Any little thing I said to him- Good Morning, can you tell so and so to come to my office,etc. he felt like there was hope we would get back together. I stood my ground and he stopped speaking to me. No hello, no anything which was fine by me. When he saw me at work he would turn and walk in the other direction so he wouldn't have to pass me. It was obvious to everyone which caused several people to come to me about it. At that time I found out all the lies he was telling people about us. Basically trying to make things out to be more than they were. BS like we live together (he lives with his mama- another lie). It has been just shy of two years since I decided I wasn't dealing with him anymore. I looked back and there we had absolutely nothing in common except for our love for the NFL.

Recently, I had to do some traveling again. One of my associates (a female) is a long time friend of his. She approached him and told him how childish he was acting especially since I did nothing to him. His cousin was visiting from another country (he is from the U.S. though) and his cousin was trying to tell him to get his life together. One evening, I'm at my spot listening to some live music and I see him walk across the room. I really did not want this drama. I was pissed that he was there in my spot especially since he doesn't even go out. I knew the associate was the one who told him to come out so I called her (she had left) and told her off. She said told him and his cousin to come because I had told her I wasn't coming out that night. I went over to him and told him I received the text he sent me earlier (saying he was sorry for acting so ignorant) but that I had moved on. He introduced me to his cousin who I had heard so much about. We exchanged hellos, I heard a lot about you etc. and I went back to my seat. Next thing I know his cousin came past me and said goodnight and then he followed. At that point I didn't remember what the cousin looked like at all but the next day the cousin was heavy on my mind and I masturbated thinking about his cousin. Later that evening my associate called and said everyone was at a particular spot having drinks. So I went to hang out. Dude and the cousin were there. Everyone was having an okay time whatever. Me and the cousin made small talk along with everyone else. We went to another spot to go get some food. I sat in between dude and his cousin. Dude was acting a straight fool. Calling me his wife, asking if I'm going to marry him before he goes overseas (he isn't going anywhere) then accusing them of calling another dude who was at happy hour to come to the spot for me. Anyway we all decided to leave. Dude got in his vehicle. I got in mine and my associate and his cousin went to get in their cars which were parked on another street. As I turned down that street both of them flagged me down. We made small talk before we parted. My associate left to get in her car. His cousin held his hand out to me like to shake goodnight but he didn't let go. I didn't either. He asked what I was about to do and I said go home. I asked what he was about to do and he said he was going to take a little drive to clear his head. He asked if I wanted to go with him and I did. He drove around and we talked. He asked about me and then asked about the relationship I had with his cousin. He asked if I wanted to get some drinks or whatever. We ended up going back to his spot. We sat there. He was tired and nodding off. I was tripping like what the f**k am I doing and trying to find something to watch on tv. So you know he was rubbing my arm and stuff. We were making small talk now and again. We talked about how we had gotten to this point. Me and him sitting there together. I asked what his point was in bringing me to his spot. He said if anything happens tonight - I'm good. If nothing happens- I'm good. You know what guys usually say. Anyway he kept rubbing. Ran his hand across my breast and I had to stop him because I know if he had done it just right there would have been no going back. I had been celibate even before me and his cousin stopped kicking it (I can count on my hands the # of times me and his cousin had sex). I wasn't about to throw away 2 years of celibacy without thoroughly thinking it through. I had to kiss him though just to see. I knew I could not stay there for the night. I told him I had to go and he walked me out. We get outside and it starts drizzling. He's telling me I should stay and I insist on leaving. When I get to my car as soon as we hugged each other, I mean the very moment we did, it started lightning and thundering. I'm very sensitive to that so I hurried and got my ass in the car and pulled off. He called me as soon as he got back inside and talked to me until I made it home. He called me back again later that night. I did not call him the next day and he didn't call me. I thought about it all day. Is this something I can pursue or is it wrong? I asked those closest to me for an opinion and was shocked by their responses. The day after that someone asked me to get a message to him. I was too scared to call so I sent him a text. He called me and asked why I didn't call. I asked the same. He said he guess it was an awkward situation for us both but that he didn't' regret it at all. I didn't regret it either. But he had made the decision for me. He said had it been a different time and place we could have been great together. I was so disappointed. He said that he did want to keep in touch. I saw him again at my homegirls spot (the other was there also). Something was just pulling me to him. I had to touch him. He came and sat near me and my friend. Of course it did not look obvious. When no one was looking I had to touch him. I told him that I wanted to see him before we both left. He said okay call him. That night he called me after they had hung out but I was asleep. I called him later that day only to find out he had to leave sooner than planned. He offered his email and I was hesitant because I didn't want to torture myself. He was supposed to call me back after he went to say goodbye to his relatives but I didn't hear from him. I sent him a text with my email address in case he wanted to keep in touch but I believe he was out of the country by that time. I went out of the country also on vacation but I thought of him everyday (I still do). It usually takes me really long to even become interested in a guy but he had captured my attention. The vibes he gave off - confident, yet humble. Laid back but you can tell he handles his sh*t. Very knowledgeable about different things. I kept telling myself that I needed to put him out of my mind, especially since I had no way to contact him and hadn't heard from him.

While I was on vacation I did not have cell service in those countries. When I got back to the States, I turned on my phone and I had two messages from him! I was ecstatic. He had tried to email me but it didn't go through. We spoke via instant messenger briefly. Before I left the states I kept getting a phone call from this weird number. I finally answered and it was him. We had a nice little conversation. When I hung up I was smiling from ear to ear. He is feeling the same energy I am feeling between us. I never in a million years would have thought to try to get to know the cousin of someone I was with. But I have never gotten this vibe from someone before and I have been dating for over 15 years. Maybe nothing will come of this but am I wrong for trying to find out? Yes, I still work with ole boy. I can't transfer for another 10 months- which I plan to do regardless of what happens between me and the cousin. It has been a very long time since I was able to see a man and say yes that is who I want to get to know. Most guys just don't pique my interest like that. Thoughts?


Wow, all I can say to be careful and take your time. Dude #1 seems a bit messy and you wouldn't want him to try and ruin your reputation. Also you really want to make sure you like Dude #2, and not just the allure of it all that is what has you interested. Personally if you realize that you really do like him, I would date Dude #2 but with other people around, like the associate from work. That way you can get to know him more, but not invest too much yet (and put yourself in compromising position, if you get my drift) if you don't see potential. Hope that helps, good luck...

Upgrade You

The NBA Draft was last week, true groupies were partying it up in NYC for a weekend in hopes to snag a NBA baller. Celebs from all over in one place are a breeding ground for the true groupie! Most of the big name ballers probably already have their lineup but there's still a hodgepogde of newcomers so don't let that be a deal breaker. At this point you kind of have to take what you can get and just upgrade when the opportuinty arises. Always dream big but remember it's crawl, walk, run. Who knows out might catch the eye of seine on the come up.

p.s. The draft was June 24th, I won't tell if you made your way to
NYC ;-)

Therapy Thursday: "Lost one"

Happy Thursday...

So about two weeks ago my brother's friend came over, and he ended up spending the night. Before he even came over I was excited about seeing him because we had meet like a month earlier when I went to a meeting at my brother's school, I saw him and thought he was so cute, as soon as we got in the car I didn't hesitate to ask my brother who he was. That's when he told me that he was one of his friends. So after that day my brother comes home one day telling me he ( his friend ) thinks I'm sexy or whatever, then I told him I was thinking the same thing about him. Then he starts calling me and stuff asking me if I got a BF, if I think hes cute, and when will I see him again etc. With that being said I always had this feeling like we were gonna end up liking each other.

Long story short he ( my brother's friend ) comes over a couple Saturdays ago. As soon as I walked in the door he was already at my house sitting in the living room, we just looked at each other and I said hi to him. He was only there because we were having a birthday dinner for my sister. But he ended up spending the night. We spent the whole night flirting back and forth, he slapped my ass a few times, kept asking me if I had a BF but I didn't wanna tell him. We was in the car ( btw my mom was driving, I was in the front seat and my bro and his friend was in the back seat ) and he was sitting in the seat behing me. The whole time we was in the car he kept whispering in my ear and kissing on my arms ( which I thought was pretty funny ) and playing with my hair, I kept telling him to leave me alone even thou I liked it ...LOL but I just didnt want him messing around with me in fornt of my mom and bro. Even thou my mom probaly wouldnt notice but I know my bro would but he didnt even care if my bro saw us messing around, and something about that turned me on. Later on that night we were in the living room watching tv ( Me, my bro and him ) some how he ends up sitting in between my legs. So I was just looking at how sexy he looked in his wife beater and basketball shorts ( he got a six -pack and muscles). I start kissing on his arm and licking and sucking on his back . Then he starts bragging to me about how "Fat" his dick is and asking me if I wanna see it. As bad as I wanted to I told him no since my bro was in the living room with us. But he kept teasing me by showing me the imprint of it through his shorts. So I put my hand down in his boxers and start feeling on it BTW: IT WAS HUGE! ( long and fat) Then I start jacking him off real slow then fast. Then I end up on top of him Im sucking on his neck then he started sucking on mines too, while grabbing and smacking my ass. Then we kissed then we start dry grinding on each other ( we still had clothes on ) he starts grabbing on my breast.I start jacking him off again, then he asks me if he can nut on my tits, so I say yea, he came all over my breast and my stomach. He asked if we can fuck but I said no. We cuddled for the rest of the night and talked.

Before he went home the next day he asked me out. I told him no. Then later on that night he called me and asked me if I could be his girl I told him I didn't wanna be mean so I just tell him I don't like being in relationships, so he asked if we can be really close friends and I told him yea.

It wasn't until a few days after that weekend I realized that I liked him, and I wanted to see him real bad, he came over during the week we kissed. Now my brother keeps teasing me about liking him and stuff, but I always deny it. But I really do like him, the problem is he has a girlfriend and he talks to alot of other girls and on top of that my brother lets him I mean he even hooks him up with girls too.

My question is should I tell him how I feel? or just act like I don't really have feelings for him. And is it wrong for us to date since hes my brother's friend,even if my bro doesn't mind? And dont you think its wrong for my brother to hook him up with girls knowing that I like him, even thou I deny I know hes not dumb. Please help.

-lost one-


I feel like the best thing to do would be to step back from the situation to really access it and try to figure out what it is you really want. That means taking time from both dudes, so you can have some alone time and not just act on all the emotions and feelings that are running through your mind right now. You don't have to be in a relationship with either one of them, but it also wouldn't be fair to run back between the two. A lot of times our feelings cloud our judgment, which can make us do some crazy things sometimes. Best of luck with your situation.

Know Your Role

Everyone has roles in life whether it be mother, father, second cousin, baby momma, and the list goes on. With those roles come responsibilities, expectations rather.
It's almost for certain that the baller your flockin has a significant other at home. Your the jumpoff, for a lack of better terms.
He takes you to his hotel room and his Wifey probably isn't running through his mind right now. If you happen to exchange numbers and actually use it after your first encounter; don't get attached. For a female it's easy to say but hard to act upon, but that's the game and it's really not your place to get attached.
Once you open your mouth to say you have feelings, know that it's gonna be a wrap for that situation.
Like Lil Wayne says, "I know my role and I play it well."

AyO

Basketball Wives reunion fight!!!

I can not explain how much of a hot mess this show was. But boy do love me some reality tv. Ok So this is the reunion of the hit show "Basketball Wives" . I put the title in quotes because there is only one wife on the show. This fight broke out because of the "groupie" Sandra calling out the other cast members about their previous immature behavior. Here is my thirteen cents on this whole Sandra the Groupie Drama. I think to get with the ballers and to not have known them before they got famous the other chicks had to have been groupies at one point. Charlamagne pointed this out on twitter. I just don't understand why they have to go in on the girl so hard, but I do know that Sandra is a good one because I be damned if those chicks would keep throwing water on my weave. I would have beat the hell out of Susie. I believe this is all staged and VH1 had the water sitting in the back waiting for Susie to act a fool. Anyway it was good tv. I dont know if Im going to watch the second season but o well. "That's whats up?"

Gracias y Good Night ~Atlantachica